Blogging

You would think that this is ironic. Talking about blogging on a website meant for blogging.
I feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place in everything that I do. I don't know where to go. My art has taken a serious turn for the worst. I have no inspiration left in me. I feel like I can't work on stuff for myself, but instead I have to work on art that is for my teachers. I can't remember a day when I did something just for me. What is that like? What does that feel like?

I feel like everyone around me is blogging about really serious things, and here I am blogging about my holidays with dogs, and my new blooming relationship. But what should a blog really be about? Should it be something personal that I lay out there for the world to see? Should it be something fake and forced that no one will actually believe?

I'm 19 years old and I feel like I question everything around me because I don't have the experience to think anything else. I'm afraid of things that are different, and I think that's why I question things. I think that's why I am so afraid to move forward in my life. Maybe that's why I'm stuck in this place right now. I don't know what to do with what I'm given. I feel like I just don't know what to do.

Hell, I applied to three jobs today. I didn't really read much into them, but I want to do something different with my life, and getting a new job for the summer seems like a good choice. Maybe it's a bad choice trying to do too much at once, but who knows until I try it. And everyone knows I probably will hear back from none of them.

Now I feel like I'm blabbering. Is that the point of a blog? Is it to get all your feelings out so there is nothing left to stress you out? Because if that is the case....BOOM done. But I don't think I will ever know the point of this blog. I will never be able to deliver consistent news about my life, and I will never be able to keep up daily or weekly at that. But I do know that no matter what I write...it will be true. It will be honest. And most of all...


It will be from my twisted up and questioning mind and heart.

till then...

My Trip To Clarion

Spring Break

Home is the best place to be when the weather is nice. When it's crappy out it's not even worth it. I hate snow and rain, and unfortunately Pittsburgh is very well equipt with both. I enjoy the snow in the winter, but when it comes in the Spring....it's just irritating. I like this break so far, and I'm even more excited for Thursday because I am taking a road trip to go and see my best friend Ryan. It's only for one day, but I think it will be fun none the less. I will write and post pictures when that happens. So until then....


You stay classy San Diego.

Fallen Ill

I seem to have fallen ill right before break.

Just my luck huh?