My New Project

These are images from my final project in my Contemporary Color Landscape class. I am very interested in the body, so for the last project I used my boyfriend Hayden as a model. When I showed it to the class the immediate response is that it had to be more personal. So I went right back to it for my final. I am still not 100% happy with where it is, but I do enjoy what I've done. These are very personal, and very intimate. Let me know what you think!

Landscape Project

I think I'm finally out of my funk. Here is the project I'm working on for my Contemporary Color Landscape class. We had to do a project on dreams, and what our "dream world" would be. Mine is in bed, black and white, and kind of out of focus.

Another Fustrated Call For Help

So it's 3 in the morning and I'm up. You may ask why in the world I am up so late. Well that is exactly why I am on here. I need to find a way to put my mind at ease and get a couple hours of sleep. So here it goes. Let the ranting and raving begin.

I'm worried about housing, and I feel like I need to get an apartment now, or I won't get one at all. I am beginning to think I won't find one, and that I'll just have to curl up on the streets of Baltimore next year and wait for someone to take me in. I am so scared that I just won't find a place in time. It's such a stressful time right now, and I just don't need this on top of all of it.

I'm worried about my finals. I have changed the idea for my one final like 4,843,235,321,768,656,655 times, and I still don't think I am 100% happy with it. I am trying really hard to be happy with my work again, and I was hoping that this maybe would be it, but again, I just don't see myself enjoying this. I just have to buckle down, and make it REALLY great. I have to make it extremely convincing, and I have to make the viewer want to see more. For my Fine Print final, I think I can probably finish all of the prints tomorrow, matting will just be the issue. My final in my landscape class is stressing me out, because I just don't know what I'm going to do. I have no idea how I want to even approach it, and I'm a little worried that I won't know what to do when the time comes to finish it. And last but not least I have to write a paper about being an outcast, and I just can't buckle down and find the time to do it. I think I need to make a schedule again. Figure out the times that I have open, and realize when to do work. I think that's the only thing that will work, and that will help me figure things out. I think as long as I time manage, I can get all of this done.

MONEY!!! That's my big issue right now too. I have none of it. I have to buy matte board and all that fun stuff, and I have NO paper. Last semester was just so much less stressful because I wasn't so worried all the time, yet this semester, I'm broke, and freaking out because I can't afford anything anymore. I don't know what to do about the money thing. I might have to see if the Tax gods blessed me this year or not. If I got that return, it would TOTALLY help me right now!

That's about it I think. I mean I'm sure there are little things thrown in there, but those are the big ones. If I can get those worked out, life would be a lot easier. I think I would be able to sleep at night too! So I guess until they get fixed I'll be up for the next 3 weeks.

Hope you all can sleep better than I can.

Frustration

I am so frustrated with art school right now. If I could put up a list of all the things I am tired of hearing, and the response I would REALLY like to give them...


-What does it mean?
I don't know...I did it because I thought it was cool.

-Why did you do that this way or that way?
I did it because it was the only way that would work efficiently, and that made sense to me.

-How does it make you feel?
It makes me feel like you shouldn't have asked that. What do you mean how does it make me feel? It's a piece of art...it makes me feel like it should be looked at and not so closely critiqued sometimes.

-What was your inspiration for this piece?
Nothing. I just kind of decided to do it one day. Is that ok with you?

-Where do you see this piece in the future?
Probably in a box in my parents basement with all the other crap I have done in the past 4 years. I have no urge to re-do most of my projects if I am happy with them.

I have mentioned in past posts that I feel like I have hit a block. I have decided it's just extremely frustrating to not know what to do anymore. I feel like my work just isn't what it was in the past, and I don't know how to make it any better. I am just upset with how art school is going right now, and I know that is in part to do with the fact that I am not really working on my art, so much as working on websites, and pieces that I don't even enjoy. I want to be doing portraits for fun. I want to enjoy being in the darkroom again. I want to feel something when I take a picture again. Right now I feel like all of my work is just kind of dragging, and nothing is working. I don't know how to get out of this, but I can't be in it anymore. I can't be doing this crap work anymore. I need to step it up. I need to start doing amazing work again...


wish me luck

My Day With Kaity

This is my day with Kaity...and these are the things it consisted of.

We've decided that gay is ok with us...as long as it's Jonah Hill and Andy Samberg's Dad.

Which leads me to Andy Samberg. Enough said...

Good one Kaity.

I wish

Lunch :)

The movie we watched to cap off the night.

We found a new love in this man.

Channing Tatum...what else do you need to know?

I love you man....thanks for yet another great night.

Ryan Brown

Ryan Brown...in a nutshell
So out of complete frustration and just to prove my point, I am posting two times in one day. I know that you're lucky if you can get one post out of me a week, but here it goes. So there is this kid that I talk to all the time. Ryan Brown. Most would say that all we really do is fight and bicker, but I consider him my closest guy friend, and one of my best friends. He is funny, tall, and ridiculously good at giving me amazing music. He constantly disagrees with me on everything, but he none the less is the one person I go to with just about every problem I have. He constantly says he's not funny, and I have yet to believe him because every time I am with him, he makes me laugh. So what do you say to a person that thinks they are not funny and unimportant?

Well in my opinion, you tell them all the things about them that make you laugh, and all the things they have done to become a fantastic friend. Which in Ryan's case....there are a lot of things.

So here Ryan....Here are the things about you that make me laugh, and that prove you are one of my closest friends....enjoy :P

1. The time that you came over and said Sotally Tober. I thought for a good like month that you made that up. I was indeed impressed to hear that you had learned it from a song. I will say...I'm still impressed that you said that. It was perfect timing.

2. The fact that you don't open your eyes in pictures. Always a reason for a good laugh. And because you are able to laugh with us...I don't consider it laughing at you.

3. The one time when I took you guys to McConnills Mills, and I said well we really need to stuff your shirt to make you look a little more buff...and you responded with "That's the only thing you would need to stuff". Very clever Ryan Brown....very clever.

4. You singing. That's funny.

5. When we went on vacation, you were like a little kid in a candy shop...if that candy shop were extremely dangerous, and if that kid was 6'7"....either way it was entertaining to watch how happy you are.

6. That time that you modeled for me ALL day, and looked amazing the entire time...thanks for that A btw. I really appreciated it.

7. You introduced me into music I never thought I would listen to. That makes you probably the coolest person I know, because the music I listen to rocks now.

8. One of my favorite funny memories of you is the image of you putting your head out my window while listening to John Mayer...Was it really that bad?
9. When you jump fires...that's a good time.

10. You and your "Puma fighting". Because that's "real"....mmmk....

11. The Offspring and driving 45 minutes to get to a Walmart. That is the epitimy of a fantastic time.

12. Watching 43197980714 movies in one night, and not going to sleep until 4 knowing that we both have to work in the morning.

13. The trip home from Canaan Valley while blasting Mamma Mia...I know you enjoyed that :)

14. That Jonas Brothers joke....that has to be the best thing you have ever said.

If this isn't enough to prove that you are very important I don't know what is. You are one of my closest friends, and my best guy friend. So I guess this is just a Thank You, and a keep up the good work. Because with out you there would be a lot of nights where I would end up staying up late with terrible music, and no one to talk to.

Thanks Ryan...(bffl)

My Future

So after our artist talk today with Amy Stein, I have decided that I really am stuck.

Photograph by: Amy Stein
What am I doing in the art field? I have been looking at a lot of new artists lately, and I still am not sure what I want to do with my art. The most recent person I have been looking at is Joey L. He is the photographer responsible for the twilight posters. He is extremely talented, and he is only 18. What the hell am I doing with my life? Will I ever be as talented as him? I'm not sure what to do now. I want to be as good as him. His work is amazing. Everyone should check it out http://www.joeyl.com/. He is nothing short of impressive. Could I ever be as great as him? I feel like I just want to figure out where my work is going to be in 10 years. I don't really see it going anywhere right now. Who knows.Photographed by: Joey L

But enough about that. I am going to be talking about my art with my teacher tomorrow, so hopefully it will all fall into place. Until then... enjoy the photographers that are way better than me...and that I someday aspire to be like them.